


Anchor

by quartermasterandhisagent



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Biphobia, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Minor Violence, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-06-10 14:58:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6961768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quartermasterandhisagent/pseuds/quartermasterandhisagent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone knows James T Kirk is a loose cannon -- bears the weight of his father's sacrifice, of being one of the few to survive Tarsus IV, of being too smart for his own good and ending up getting into way too many fights as a result of that, especially when people question his place. Luckily, Leonard H. McCoy (future doctor and surgeon) has his back, even if he doesn't realize it sometimes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [endlessdepthsofspace](https://archiveofourown.org/users/endlessdepthsofspace/gifts).



> Please note: there is some implied/referenced biphobia in the later chapters, as well as minor violence (fist fights) towards both Kirk and Bones as a result of this. I've tried to tag everything to the best of my abilities, but if you need anything tagged or I've missed something please let me know. I'll update the tags and the characters as I post chapters, I just wanted to preface with this.

Winona Kirk was absolutely positive that this—the seventh version—would not be the last document she wrote for her upcoming six week posting in the Delta Quadrant, smoothing over whatever ruckus Captain Marcus had stirred up. If she was being honest, she wasn’t sure about how she felt about this mission, her first in half a decade. She used to dream of the stars, couldn’t imagine a life without the hum of a star ship beneath her feet – the best (the birth of her two sons, her marriage) and absolute worst things in her life (the death of her husband, her brother’s death, Jim’s injuries) could be marked by Starfleet missions.

She’d resigned her post as a Starfleet officer in the wake of the Tarsus IV incident, bitterly regretting ever trusting the care of her children to her brother--even though he himself hadn’t survived the incident. Instead she split her time between Iowa and San Francisco as a member of the Diplomatic Corps. But now she was being recalled into active duty, her expertise being needed for what Starfleet brass officially referred to as a ‘delicate’ matter, which roughly translated into an absolute clusterfuck. She was looking forward to spending a few days in between her initial briefings visiting with her eldest son George, who was thankfully happily settled at Starfleet Academy. Jim on the other hand, was something of a loose cannon—too much like his father sometimes.

A horrific crash jarred her attention away from her PADD, and she found herself running a hand to smooth over the regulation style bun she still wore her hair in out of habit more than anything else. She listened as her son raced clear across their condo, careless of whatever he knocked over in his mad scramble to answer the door as it chimed. At eighteen, Jim was more reckless than clumsy but that didn’t stop him from getting into trouble any less than when he was a child and Winona would get increasingly passive aggressive com messages. This time, she could only hope it was something relatively innocuous like a chair that had been tipped, and not something fragile or expensive or some combination of the two. Sighing, she moved to set aside the PADD and went to see what all the excitement was about.

“Bones, Bones, Bones!” Leonard McCoy had been inside the Kirk household for a grand total of forty-five seconds before Jim Kirk appeared at the door, practically running into the older man.

“Good God man, you ever going to stop growin’?” Leo muttered, even as he dropped his bag to the ground in favour of wrapping an arm around Jim. It’d been too long since Leonard had seen Jim, eight and a half months to be precise. He’d barely had time to call his own folks between his coursework, exams and his rotations over the holidays, let alone see Jim even for a day or two, as much as it had pained him to admit it. He’d stayed up with Jim via video call to greet his birthday back in January at the start of the last semester, just so he didn’t have to spend it alone, but it hadn’t been the same. Although eight years younger, Jim was the closest thing to a friend Leo had. He’d missed him, for crying out loud. Not that Leonard was ever going to admit that to anyone else but himself.

Jim’s reply was muffled, as he latched onto Leo just the way he always did. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t eight years old anymore and Leo wasn’t just shy of fifteen either, wondering how he ended up entertaining this kid that his parents saddled on him one warm Friday night in June just because an old family friend was in town—Jim always clung. He’d learned of course to appreciate it in recent years, watching as Jim steadily regained his health and much later most of his confidence (although Leo didn’t miss the way he wore it like armour, wanting desperately for the world and everyone else to overlook the jagged scars that had never healed despite how long he’d spent in Starfleet medical all those years ago, recovering slowly but surely) but he’d just had a frankly terrifying shuttle ride, and he wanted the chance to sit down on stable land for two damn minutes before being accosted.

“Can’t have you hanging over me all the time, Bones,” Jim replied easily, only loosening his grip when he heard footsteps behind him. Leonard could admit to himself, just how good Jim looked—strong, healthy, content almost. He was relieved. He’d been worried despite multiple assurances from Jim himself that everything was “a-okay” because Jim Kirk needed everyone to believe that. Even though Leo secretly hoped he’d be the one Jim went to if things weren’t. He’d yet to see proof of that, hearing about his various stunts pulled throughout the year only after the incident, sometimes much later whether that was due to his own hectic schedule or Jim’s reluctance to hear exactly what Leo thought of his hair-brained schemes (reckless, mad, insane were usually his go to descriptors) he wasn’t sure.

“James Tiberius Kirk, what on Earth –“ Winona’s voice called out before Leonard had seen her, exasperated and fond in equal measure when she rounded the corner from her study, and caught sight of Jim and Leo still standing just inside the doorway. Leonard hadn’t missed the way she relaxed and smiled softly when she said, “Oh good Leo, you’re here.”


	2. Chapter 2

“How’s Sam?” Leo asked as they sit down to dinner that evening. Jim had only groaned in reply. Winona hadn't missed the way Leonard defaulted to Jim’s preference to using his brother’s middle name, avoiding George’s given name completely, without seeming to hesitate about it. Of course, he’d had years to practice, but she knew it wasn’t an accident. Maybe it was Jim’s way of acknowledging the fact that he couldn’t separate George from their father any other way. Lord knows he wouldn’t be the only one to hear the name George Kirk, and think of the destruction of the USS Kelvin and the death of the acting captain. Leo didn't seem to mind making the adjustment for Jim's sake, and for that Winona was grateful.

Between the two of them--Leo and Winona--it wasn’t exactly a secret that James T. Kirk would forever be his father’s son. Even though it had been nearly twenty years, and Leonard had never been in space, they both knew Jim would carry the weight of his father’s sacrifice, of being one of the few survivors of Tarsus IV, of being too smart for his own good, and getting into way too many fights as a result of it--especially when people questioned his place. But Winona also knows with absolute certainty that Leonard H. McCoy had her son’s back, unconditionally, whether or not either one of them realized it yet. And that—that is how she is going to be able to leave her son here in Iowa with Leo for six weeks.

“Never mind that, Bones! You didn’t answer all my questions. I need to know what happened with the Xenobiology prof – you know the one you said was a --“ Jim wasn’t given the chance to finish before Leo reached over and cuffed him on the back of the head, silencing him with a single glare.

“He’s fine, taking summer courses at the Academy. I’ll be sure to tell him you said hello, if you want,” Winona said, only barely managing to hold back a laugh.

“You do that,” Leonard replied, only to be interrupted by Jim who had moved on from his own plate and was picking at the corner of Leo’s plate. He’d pushed his extra helping to the side without much thought over the course of dinner, because Jim _always_ did this, and Leo had learned early on in their friendship that if he wasn’t careful Jim would eat his plate and half of Leo’s before he even realized it. Maybe if he’d slow down for five minutes to sit down and _actually eat_ without planning the rest of his day from that point onward...but at this point Leonard knew it was more or less a lost cause.

“You are such a suck up,” Jim laughed, elbowing Leo in the sides.

“Am not! It’s called bein’ polite, y’should try it sometime,” Leonard replied easily, not even bothering to look up from his plate. Normally he hated any intrusions in his personal space, but this, what he had with Jim had always been easy.

“Are too!” Jim fired back almost instantly, unable to resist giving a sharp kick under the table in Leo’s general direction. Leonard was interrupted then from whatever sarcastic comment he was set on making, probably something about age and maturity, as if he was much better than Jim, by Winona’s sharp tone

“Boys!” Winona cut in, waving a hand across the table to catch their attention. “That’s enough. Clean up. Then Jim, you can show Leo his room. I’ll be in my study.” She rose from the table in one fluid motion, turning on a heel only pausing at the doorway for a moment to add “No one’s going out. I have to be at the dockyard by 0430h, and I need my sleep. None of this coming home in the middle of the night business.”

“But Mom, I promised Scotty I’d drop by before –“ Jim all but whines before Winona is turning back, jaw set not because she was angry at her son, but she wasn’t going to let him talk his way out of this one. She really did need her sleep.

“No buts. You have company. I’m sure Leo wants to get settled in. He’s had enough travel for the day. You two can out tomorrow. And curfew is still in effect, as long as you live with me.”

Jim could only let his head hit the table in response, not bothering to lift his head and glare at his friend who was _definitely_ laughing at him. “Bones, you are literally the worst. I hate you so much right now," Jim muttered.

“No you don’t," Leo replied, not even bothering to hide his amusement.


	3. Chapter 3

"You've got to hate this," Jim muttered, sniffling into his sleeve. He looked _miserable_ hunched up, sitting on the curb, knees pulled up high against his chest. He didn't meet Leo's eyes, keeping his eyes cast down. He never looked skywards when he was upset, Leo knew.

"Hate what, kid?" Leo said joining him on the curb. Christ, he was tired. Like hell he was going to admit it, because Jim clearly needed him.

At this, Jim laughed humourlessly. "Hanging around some dumb kid," he sniffled again. Jim was _not_ going to let Leo see that he was crying, he wasn't. He hadn't even lost the fight, and he wasn't hurt more than a couple cuts and scrapes that he knew Bones could patch up without much effort, so he didn't know why he was crying. He just was. "You've been here for almost a week and all you've done is break up fights and take my drunk ass home to nurse my hangover."

Bones sighed. Jim made it sound like a chore, like he didn't deserve to be taken care of. As if there were more important things in Bones' life than looking after him whenever he could. "It is why I'm here," he said eventually, hoping that Jim would get the message.

Evidently, he hadn't because Jim huffed and thumped his head against his knees. "Right. Because my mom asked you to be here, to look after me while she's gone."

Leo wrapped his arms around Jim, and pulled him to his feet, ignoring Jim's feeble protest. "No. Your ma might want someone to keep an eye on you. Lord knows you get in enough trouble on your own," he said, waving his free hand in the air, gesturing vaguely to the party off in the distance. "And she did ask me to be here, but I would've been here anyways, kid. I'm your friend, Jim."

Leo won't admit to anyone the way his breath catches, just for a second when Jim finally, finally met his eyes and said, "Let's go home, Bones."

*               *              *

The party was a great idea. A fantastic idea even. Sure they didn't know everyone there, and maybe it wasn't their usual scene, but Jim was going to college in the fall. It was time to broaden his horizons or whatever. At the very least, he'd hoped to try and shake off Bones who had been getting under his skin since he got here. And it had been working, until Nyota left early, and he'd lost track of Hikaru. Some absolute prick decided he could get handsy with Jim, just because he was alone and decidedly younger than most of the crowd.

And okay, _maybe_ he was drunker than he thought he was, because Jim couldn't actually remember making the decision to get in a fight. He could remember being decidedly interested in the guy, telling him so, and the guy's buddies getting involved -- but after that? It was mostly a blur. He remembers Hikaru getting involved, and telling Jim that he'd already called Leo using Jim' communicator. That had distracted him so much he lost his footing on a punch, which was just embarrassing. He could hold his own in a fight, he'd been in enough of them over the years. Heck, this wasn't even his first time fighting more than one person.

But it just went downhill when Bones had shown up, gruff voice breaking through the commotion and drunken chanting that kept him company during fights like these. He was livid, Jim could tell from the stony expression when Bones finally pushed his way through the crowd. It wasn't until Jim had won the fight, knocking one of the guy's friends out cold, and the other guy spitting blood, holding his hands up in defeat that Jim realized Bones wasn't yelling at him like he'd thought, but at the guys he'd been fighting. His head was spinning, from the adrenaline rush or the alcohol he wasn't sure, but he could barely make out the words Bones was saying. Jim wasn't sure he even wanted to know, really, but he was pretty sure Bones was threatening them. And when the guy who had started the whole thing just laughed in response, and said, "Looks like pretty boy can't fight his own fights. He has to be saved, like the--" he doesn't get the chance to finish the sentence before Leo hauls off a punch and the guy goes down. He doesn't even blink, let alone check on the guy before he turns and claps Jim on the shoulder, not saying anything at all as they leave, making their way through the crowd again.


	4. Chapter 4

Jim woke early the next morning, sun too bright in his eyes. He couldn't think of any reason why he’d leave his blinds up before going to bed. He couldn't think of much of anything, really, what with his splitting headache and the distinctive swelling pressure of a black eye, and _oh._ He remembered last night, all at once, and felt like he was going to be sick.

He rolled out of bed, which was an even worse idea because he felt like he’s going to fall over. _Fuck_ , he thought to himself. Luckily for Jim, someone had placed a bucket beside his bed. He hadn't even know they had a bucket – it looked new, now that he thought about it. Or at least, it _had_ been new before he’d been sick. He reached down to use his faded sleep shirt as a towel, that he definitely hadn't remember changing into, only to realize half way that it wasn't ] his. It was a little too big, a little loose in the shoulders and far too soft to be anything he owns. He pulls on the extra fabric to look at it – University of Mississippi. _Bones._ Jim groaned.

“Oh good, you’re alive. I was beginning to wonder,” Bones said, poking his head inside the door.

Jim groaned again. “The jury is still out on that one,” he managed before dropping to his knees to be sick again.

When he was finished, Bones had been there with a glass of water and a hand towel. He handed both off to Jim before sitting down at the edge of his bed. “Thanks,” Jim replied weakly. “Don’t mention it, kid,” Leo said, clasping him on the shoulders. “When you’re ready, I’ll be in the living room with some food if you want to give it a try. I’ve got some holovids I brought with me too, if you’re up for that.”

“Movie night? Yessss,” Jim had all but shouted, his whole demeanour changed at this. He was far more enthusiastic than you would expect from someone who’d just lost a considerable amount of their stomach contents, but Jim always bounced back. Even from possible alcohol poisoning apparently.

Bones left Jim to get his bearings, taking with him the bucket to no doubt clean himself, even though he didn't have to really. He must’ve gone out early this morning to get it from the first store that opened because now that he’s had an up and close encounter with it, he was sure they don’t own a bucket. Heck, they don’t even clean other than pick up after themselves. Mom had someone come in twice a month to do the real cleaning.

When Jim finally padded out of his room, the worst of the fuzzies scrubbed off his tongue, and felt a little less like dying, he was shocked to find Bones has gone all out. Snacks in bowls, pizza on the table, and a blanket fort bigger than he could ever remember.

“You’re not mad,” Jim blurted out upon seeing the set up in the living room.

“No Jim, I’m not mad.” Bones said, quietly. He patted the couch seat beside him, where there’s a spot just big enough for Jim among the blankets and pillows. He hadn't even know they had this many pillows and blankets, and he knows Leo didn’t bring any with him. He suspects they don’t, which just makes this whole thing extra ridiculous. He wasn't not complaining either, not really. Especially with how nice it felt when Bones wraps an arm around him when he sat down, like he hadn't cared that Jim hadn't showered, and probably smelled gross from being sick and hungover and all.

Nope not complaining, he just couldn't believe how lucky he is.

After a while, Leo handed him his comm, which he’d forgotten about honestly. He hadn't remember asking Hikaru for it back, or much of anything from last night, at least after he watched Leo punch the living daylights out of a guy and _walk away_. “Here, it’s been buzzing all day,” he said.

“I didn’t hear it?” Jim asked, even though they both know that’s not what he was really asking.

“That’s ‘cause it’s been plugged in out here all day,” Leo replied, nodding towards the charger in the corner Jim only used when he was too lazy to go plug it in his room. “Oh and your ma called, wants you to call her back.”

Jim sighed, and ducks his head. His mom was going to be so _disappointed_ about the fight. He was sure Leo told her all about it, especially when she couldn’t get a hold of him after last night. Which is fair he guessed, he was in a _state_ when Leo found him, he couldn't even remember what started it all. He was having a good time, too good of a time really, until he wasn’t.

As if sensing his hesitation – because normally, Jim would call his mom back right away, no questions asked, especially after being out of touch for so long—Bones added, “I didn’t tell her.”

Jim gaped at him like a fish out of water, “You didn’t?” he managed to stammer out eventually.

“Nope,” Bones replied, “I’d have to explain to her why I hauled off and hit a guy twice my size,” he added after a moment more of Jim’s fish impression.  

Jim laughed at that, “Fair. I’m not sure who she’ll be more mad at.”

“Oh definitely me. You she just worries about,” Bones said laughing too.

In the end, he left a video message for his mom (who thankfully hadn't answered), with Bones pressed in close to fit inside the small square frame, arm slung around Jim’s shoulders. If it conveniently covers up the black eye, which falls out of frame, well then it wasn't anything Jim can do about it could he? After all, it’d be rude to leave Bones out of the message.


	5. Chapter 5

 “Listen, Jim,” Bones began. He paused, hesitant at how to phrase it. He knews Jim was hurting, he didn’t want him to take it the wrong way. “I’ve got a friend—she’s in town for only a couple of days, just passing through. I said I would meet her for dinner and a few drinks. But if you want –“ He said, eventually, all in a rush. As if he hadn’t said it all right then, he wasn’t going to say it at all.

At this, Jim pushed at his shoulders. “Go. I’ll be fine,” he tried to reassure Bones. He said so with a fragile smile, that must be not very convincing because Bones hesitated even more. He hadn’t thought it was possible.

“Are you sure?’ Bones asked, one hand still rested on Jim’s knee. He looked down, as if he suddenly remembered it was there – not like _Jim_ had forgotten—but he hadn’t made to move it away either.

Jim all but rolled his eyes at Leonard. “Goo. It’s not like I’m not going to be here all night anyways.” He gestured vaguely towards his eye. “I wouldn’t mind if you ordered some more pizza though.”

Bones found a pillow behind him and threw it at Jim, before he got up to leave, headed towards the guest room. “You’re going to get a salad. I’m not going to have you drop dead of a heart attack at 25 because your cholesterol is twice what it should be.”

“Oh come on, Bones. I’m going to live forever, don’t you know?” Jim called out. He ignored the way Bones’ answering laugh mades him fuzzy inside, his stomach flopping.

*                      *                      *

“I thought you said it’s not a date,” Jim said, as he stood in the doorway. He wasn’t admiring, because that would be weird, but he had _noticed_ how in shape Bones was, far more than he would have expected for someone who was ridiculously busy. Seriously, Leo had put on some serious muscle in the past year, and how he found time for that Jim didn’t know.

“It’s not,” Leonard said, as he tugged at his tie a few times, before he yanked it off completely with a frustrated huff. He tossed it on the bed, and turned back towards the mirror, and glared at Jim.

“Sure looks like a date, with the tie and all,” Jim waved his hand at Leo, who apparently out filled out his clothes nicely when he wanted to put effort into it.

Bones only rolled his eyes. “It’s a fancy restaurant, that’s all, Jim. Some places have dress codes y’know.”

“Ugh,” Jim replied. Who wanted to go to places like that? If he couldn’t be himself, Jim saw no point in being there.

True to his word, Jim staid in that evening, messaging Nyota and Hikaru, who had recovered much more nicely from their frankly disastrous night out. They were understandably worried, but easily appeased after Jim promised they could both come over tomorrow for dinner. The furthest he gets is the door, to see Bones out for his not-a-date, and when the delivery guy shows up with the food Jim had made Bones order before he left.

The delivery guy blanched at the sight of Jim when he’d answered the door, and okay yeah staying in had been the right call. He might have taken a shower earlier after Bones left on his not-a-date, but he apparently still looked like hell. Still, the guy had said anything, which Jim is grateful for. He hadn’t really want to think about it at that point, definitely hadn’t want to think about the way Bones waited to jump in at the end, or how he spent the last day and half trying to cheer Jim up instead of lecturing him about responsibilities, or what any of this meant because it was different, okay. They’ve been friends for _forever_ but this was different. He just didn’t know how.

“Uh, it’s $15, man” the guy said instead, as he held his arm out like the food was kind of heavy, and oh yeah. Jim reached into the bowl of fake fruit and fished out a twenty from the cash his mom kept there for emergencies, or for when Jim ordered takeout and forgot to go pull money out.  Which is basically the same thing, right?

“Oh right, here you go,” Jim said, holding out the cash, while awkwardly trying to balance propping the door open and accepting his food from the guy. The delivery guy nods, and turned to leave without saying anything, so Jim had been stuck in the doorway alone trying not to drop his dinner on the floor.

He opened it up to find a salad, which made him laugh, especially with how _sad_ it looked. He’d thought Bones had been joking. But underneath that, he found a box of wings, and some fries too. So maybe he wasn’t not so bad after all.


	6. Chapter 6

When Bones hadn’t come home – _back_ , Jim mentally corrected himself – that night, he tried not to be too disappointed. It wasn’t like he was worried or anything because he knew Leo could take care of himself, and it wasn’t like he’d never spent a night home alone, but he couldn’t shake the feeling either that something was up.

It’d been still early when Jim heard the crash, and jumped out of bed startled. He crept down the hallway, still wearing Leo’s (now washed) University of Mississippi shirt, because hey if Bones really wanted it that badly, he wouldn’t have given it to Jim to wear, and it’s soft, okay? Jim crept down the hallway, only to find Bones himself trying to be quiet as he came inside. He could see from the clock by the door – the one he’s pretty sure his mom kept there to remind him when he broke curfew—that it was just past five in the morning. _Wayy too early_ , Jim thought, _but not too early to be sneaking in from a hookup_ , his brain adds. And doesn’t that feel funny in his stomach.

Bones startled when he saw him, then softened when he noticed Jim wearing his shirt. Leo doesn’t look relieved though, like he’d been caught off guard sneaking back in, but more disappointed? Regretful? Guilty? “Jim,” he said, sounding hoarse. Once Jim is slightly more awake, he’d realized the other man looked exhausted.

“You look like shit,” Jim replied cheerfully. Hey, if Bones couldn’t be quiet coming back in, he was going to revel in this.

“Really,” Bones deadpanned, “I hadn’t noticed.” Jim only raised his eyebrows at him,  his arms crossed as he rested on the door jam. He watched as Leo scrubbed his face, half heartedly at best. 

“You okay, Bones?” Jim asked then. He’d barely resisted the urge to hover, like he knew Leo would do if the roles were reversed.

Leo just sighed, “Not really, kid.”

“Oh your date went that badly? I would’ve thought it went well, considering the time you got home at,” he replied, mostly joking, but also kind of concerned.  This wasn’t like Bones, and he knew it wasn’t rational, but he automatically hated anyone who hurt Leo.

At that, Bones flinched. He honest-to-God flinched. Jim felt bad at that point, knowing he should have just left it alone.  “It wasn’t a date,” he snapped. “I only stayed out because I was too drunk to drive home. I had to walk back to the car after I woke up.” He sounded frustrated for some reason, as if doing the responsible thing had somehow frustrated him. Unless, it was something else…

Jim just raised his hands in the air, “Okay, okay, jeeze. Sorry I asked, grumpy Bones.”

Leo walked past him without even looking at him, “I just didn’t sleep last night, okay?” Jim hadn’t said anything to this, because really what the hell. It’s so out of character for Leo. “Good night, Jim,” Bones called out, just before he slammed the door.

*                                  *                                  *

Leonard woke to the sound of laughter from the kitchen. For a brief moment, he’d been frozen in horror thinking Jocelyn has come calling and Jim was out there charming her. Not that he cared really that much about what Jocelyn thought after she tried forcing her tongue down his throat and copping a feel even _after_ Leo had told him he wasn’t interested in her like that anymore. He couldn’t tell her when that had changed, when their hookups with the potential to be more had just fizzled off into nothing, but she’d been pissed. He hadn’t been lying when he told Jim it wasn’t a date, but he hadn’t really been honest with him either about how Jocelyn had been more than just a friend, at least before last night. He wasn’t sure where they stood now, and he found he didn’t really care that much. Other than he didn’t want to be a jerk, and they had friends in common because they were both in med school, so things would be awkward for a while. He’d be tempted for another drink, if wasn’t for the headache, and his empty stomach which was currently reminding him that he was _ravenous_ and hadn’t eaten all day.

He could hear Jim talking to Nyota, who he could now hear even though he knows they’re not being loud, and what sounds like an attempt at cooking. Pasta from the smell of things. He padded out to the bathroom, snagged a change of clothes with him as he went. Twenty minutes later, after relieving himself and taking a quick shower, he came out to the kitchen in a fresh set of clothes.

“Bones!” Jim called out cheerfully. He could see how Jim was holding back, but trying not to let it show, and Leonard forced himself not to shrink at that. He couldn’t figure out what he did wrong, but he could tell Jim was upset with him.

“Hello, Leonard,” Nyota said, politely. She watched as Jim turned back to his pasta, as she leant casually against the counter.

“You’re letting him cook dinner?” Bones asked her.

“Hey! I can cook pasta, just wait. It’ll blow your socks off, Bones,” Jim replied, that forced levity back in his voice.

Bones only raised an eyebrow, but Nyota shook her head. “I only help when he asks, it’s actually pretty good.”

“It’s one of the few things I can cook myself,” Jim added, seeming to relax when Bones doesn’t say anything else.

He stood back, and watched as Nyota and Jim carried on their conversation almost as if they had forgot he was in the room, until he heard the door bell ring. “Oh, that’s probably Hikaru. I should—“Jim said, practically running into Leonard.  

“Let me,” Bones had said, grateful for the escape from Jim for the first time in years. He’d felt like he’d been third-wheeling, even though he knew Nyota and Jim weren’t anything but good friends. But it still had been awkward, and he’d spent the better part of the last half hour practically counting down to the time where he could go back to his room without it seeming rude.

Hikaru greets him with a nod, and a _welcome back_ , before they head towards the patio, where they can see Nyota setting the small table. It’s a little crowded for the four of them, and Bones ends up stting a little too close to Jim, if his stiff posture is anything to go by, but he tells himself that it’s only for a little while. He can go back to his room, do some research – yeah that’s what he’ll do—soon enough.

He made the appropriate amount of conversation expected of him, as he stole glances at Jim who had not looked his way once during the entire dinner, nor had he talked directly to Bones like he usually does. He felt himself starting to tense up, in response to Jim’s proverbial cold shoulder, and he hadn’t been able to stand it. He just had to get out, away. He pushed his chair away, over careful when he stood not to bump into Jim (or knock over Hikaru who was the next closest to him) “I’ve got some research to look at before it gets too late,” he announced to the group. He’d been barely able to focus on the protests as he beat his retreat over Jim’s _silence._ He hadn’t said a word.

 _Shit._ Bones didn’t even want to be here, in this room, staring at his PADD screen, consulting the stack of research he had brought with him, but hadn’t looked at except on the rare mornings Jim hadn’t come back at all, and Leo had woke to an empty condo. But here he was, and even though he could hear Jim’s laughter, bright and unconcerned from his open window, he still felt the same – alone, waiting for Jim to come home.


End file.
